 Desi Weddings, Coming full circle back to weddings |
Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register ) · View New Posts
| VC1 |
 Mar 3 2005, 06:57 PM
Post
#121
|
 member Group: maha contributors Posts: 250 Joined: 20-February 05 Member No.: 296  |
I will get this off my chest.
Tamil lower middle class families are forced to conduct their daughters' weddings in at least a certain minimum style (mandated by society). This often costs more money than they can afford. (Naipaul writes about this in one of his recent books.) For all our big talk, we have not seen the utter folly of this and come up with alternative measures. "May all your children be girls" is a mild curse in TN. A part of the reason is the high wedding costs the father incurs for each daughter. (The other is the anxiety of finding a bridegroom.) I am thrilled with the simplicity of Arya Samaj weddings. I am also thrilled with the simplicity of weddings conducted by the self-respect movement. One of my Tech roommates got married in Washington D.C. to one of his PhD colleagues. He is one of my heroes (only in this regard). His wedding cost less than $50. [If he hadn't gone crazy and splurged on flowers, he could have easily shaved at least another $20 off  ] VC |
   |
 
|
Posts in this topic
VC1 Desi Weddings Mar 3 2005, 06:57 PM
shahpar VC, this is true for most classes in most SA socie... Mar 3 2005, 09:18 PM Nibu it is not so just in tamilnadu, vc. the whole indi... Mar 3 2005, 09:22 PM ajit With all due respect this is complete nonsense. Al... Mar 3 2005, 09:32 PM shahpar my darling ajit,
with all due respect, what rubbi... Mar 3 2005, 09:39 PM ajit array chhodo memsaab. Hum to laDkay waalay hai. Jo... Mar 3 2005, 09:52 PM shahpar agar aap ladkey wale hongey to jootiyan to aap log... Mar 3 2005, 10:02 PM VC1
Of course I was joking. But the fool had the rec... Mar 3 2005, 10:20 PM Anjali
Somehow, "Nancy Reagan" and "excel... Mar 3 2005, 10:27 PM Anjali
Ajit,
It is not that easy! I mean, one might... Mar 3 2005, 10:36 PM seajay These practices may be a financial strain or at le... Mar 3 2005, 11:36 PM arnab this hits home for me because i am underwriting pa... Mar 4 2005, 12:56 AM ajit
Her advice was : Just say NO!
We must accept... Mar 4 2005, 02:43 AM ajit
Achchha to phir:
paao'n chhoo lenay do jooto... Mar 4 2005, 02:46 AM shanta
I had this exact conversation with our maid in In... Mar 4 2005, 03:53 AM roshna
It is not so just in India, Nibu. It's all ... Mar 4 2005, 05:09 AM VC1
That astrology has all the answers? :P Mar 4 2005, 06:32 PM VC1 Here is a Nov. 1997 post from me on this topic. (I... Mar 4 2005, 06:52 PM champa Are we talking dowry or fancy weddings? They are c... Mar 4 2005, 07:10 PM VC1
Sounds a tad bit like the "let 'em eat ... Mar 4 2005, 07:40 PM Swati
That's actually a fairly well-established al... Mar 4 2005, 10:36 PM VC1
The argument also will have merit only if the am... Mar 4 2005, 10:52 PM arnab i'd be interested in reading about this argume... Mar 4 2005, 10:52 PM VC1
Thanks for saying this.
Almost always (and cert... Mar 4 2005, 11:04 PM roshna
Since I was one who protested that this happens ... Mar 5 2005, 01:12 AM arnab roshna,
i think a difference might be that in the... Mar 5 2005, 01:28 AM gingerly don't know if many of you followed this story ... Mar 5 2005, 01:49 AM champa
arnab,
i agree. we should be able to talk about ... Mar 5 2005, 02:15 AM seajay
Not sure I completely agree.
We agree that at ... Mar 5 2005, 02:32 AM champa
The situations are so dissimilar it is like com... Mar 5 2005, 03:02 AM arnab
champa,
your comments are probably very accurat... Mar 5 2005, 03:18 AM VC1
I will point this out even though it is not dipl... Mar 5 2005, 04:16 AM VC1
The above does not represent an understanding of... Mar 5 2005, 08:17 AM anil I have kept away from this discourse till now for ... Mar 5 2005, 09:06 AM roshna
I am disappointed political leaders in desh don... Mar 5 2005, 07:10 PM VC1 Ruth Prawer Jhabwala writes in one of her stories ... Mar 5 2005, 07:16 PM anil
We psychologists do not find this strange. Inter... Mar 5 2005, 07:56 PM VC1
In TN, the only "religious" group (tha... Mar 5 2005, 10:07 PM seajay The swamiji of Dharmastala in Dakshina Kannada doe... Mar 5 2005, 10:24 PM shahpar quoting nisha:
hi nisha,
this is very interesti... Mar 18 2005, 02:02 AM nisha hi Shahpar,
Dowry practice is said to have origin... Mar 18 2005, 03:33 AM champa Shahpar,
I remember reading Balzac (perhaps Cousin... Mar 18 2005, 04:36 AM VC1
Doesn't Rohinton Mistry quote from Balzac at... Mar 18 2005, 05:48 AM arnab
mahasweta devi draws attention to the fact that ... Mar 18 2005, 05:57 AM dieresis Isn't dowry or bride-price (basically, some fo... Mar 18 2005, 02:56 PM shahpar
interesting point. should we change the concept ... Mar 18 2005, 05:27 PM VC1 shahpar,
Go for it.
You still steadfast in n... Mar 18 2005, 05:49 PM shahpar
hi nisha!
thanks for the links. its really s... Mar 18 2005, 06:23 PM shahpar
Now why didn't anyone tell me about this opti... Mar 18 2005, 06:36 PM VC1
Me too.
VC Mar 18 2005, 06:59 PM VC1
I knew that, especially if I pushed hard enough,... Mar 18 2005, 07:03 PM Sue Darlow Shahpar
Can I come to your wedding as well? I pr... Mar 18 2005, 09:29 PM shahpar sue, VCji, mahmud, ajit and everybody else,
pleas... Mar 18 2005, 09:42 PM champa
shahpar,
negotiate first that the man you marry ... Mar 18 2005, 09:49 PM nisha I myself find that tendency to glorify one's o... Mar 18 2005, 09:53 PM champa
Nisha,
just as you find the imperialist argument... Mar 18 2005, 10:07 PM shahpar champa and nisha, i have decided to give myself an... Mar 18 2005, 10:09 PM Jai Malhar What do the brides and grooms wear in Bong Muslim ... Mar 18 2005, 10:26 PM ajit Shahpar, reading about your comments re: weddings ... Mar 18 2005, 10:28 PM shahpar
JM,
hello ji. in bong muslim wedding brides wea... Mar 18 2005, 10:40 PM shahpar
achcha? £100 per month for 10 years? why dont i ... Mar 18 2005, 10:46 PM VC1
Glad to hear that. Unfortunately, people constan... Mar 18 2005, 10:49 PM arnab
shahpar,
can i request that you get married in ... Mar 18 2005, 11:00 PM VC1 Continuing the serious conversation :
Asking peop... Mar 18 2005, 11:23 PM VC1 A certain definite fraction of grief in this world... Mar 19 2005, 07:37 AM champa
I am not sure i understand all the analogies her... Mar 19 2005, 09:06 AM champa
ajit, can you run that clause 2 by us again? doe... Mar 19 2005, 09:15 AM ajit The trouble with this cake eating argument is that... Mar 19 2005, 12:41 PM ajit
What ? Doesn't love count for anything any m... Mar 19 2005, 12:47 PM anil
Do people make such s**t up :rant: Anyone who ... Mar 19 2005, 02:59 PM anil
What ? Doesn't love count for anything any m... Mar 19 2005, 03:01 PM VC1
The culprits' behavior is conditioned too an... Mar 19 2005, 04:50 PM VC1
Where Hunter College is located has absolutely n... Mar 19 2005, 05:06 PM VC1 .
Arnab has also mentioned that someone known to ... Mar 19 2005, 05:42 PM VC1 In my previous post, I forgot to point out the fol... Mar 19 2005, 05:56 PM VC1 cj,
Glad to hear this. (And sorry for the bela... Mar 19 2005, 06:10 PM shahpar
VCji,
hello! i am most impressed with your ... Mar 19 2005, 06:26 PM VC1 shahpar,
I use behavioral theories to explain eve... Mar 19 2005, 06:41 PM VC1 I have also met some exceptional people from Tamil... Mar 19 2005, 08:21 PM anil
Where Hunter College is located has absolutely n... Mar 19 2005, 09:14 PM armagod Many parents/guardians of girls get into a state o... Mar 19 2005, 11:54 PM VC1
Tell me about the stress *. The stress level als... Mar 20 2005, 12:09 AM champa
Ajit,
would you elaborate on this trick that you... Mar 21 2005, 09:44 AM Swati
Totally off-topic, but is mekhla-chador traditio... Mar 21 2005, 11:19 AM ajit Thanks for asking, Champa. Maharashtrians are the ... Mar 21 2005, 01:22 PM shahpar
Totally off-topic, but is mekhla-chador tradition... Mar 21 2005, 03:01 PM VC1
Tell me about it
The above while rude is NOT ... Mar 21 2005, 06:31 PM ajit VC1, if you are referring to my lame attempts at h... Mar 21 2005, 10:00 PM Anjali
I don't know on all other counts-- but at le... Mar 21 2005, 11:53 PM champa
Om Ajit "sans-dowri" EnlightenedOne Na... Mar 21 2005, 11:58 PM Anjali :P
I almost said, "we Maharashtrians deserv... Mar 22 2005, 12:08 AM Swati
Oh wow, so you are part Asomiya soali (or to be ... Mar 22 2005, 02:02 AM shahpar
hey swati! yup, i am half ahomiya, half banga... Mar 22 2005, 03:01 AM Mahmud Shahpar seems to preface every post with this: W... Mar 22 2005, 03:17 AM shahpar When these words are so often repeated, it must ... Mar 22 2005, 03:31 AM ajit
<writing memo>....
Please to spare Banglad... Mar 22 2005, 03:33 AM VC1 Here is the quote from A Fine Balance (that I ment... Mar 22 2005, 05:03 PM VC1
Oh, you are claiming the humor excuse?
The ... Mar 22 2005, 05:48 PM shahpar
VC ji,
hello!
i'm sure ajit will prob... Mar 22 2005, 06:30 PM
ajit Shahpar sweetheart, are you looking for a husband ... Mar 22 2005, 11:23 PM  |
2 User(s) are reading this topic (2 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:
| Lo-Fi Version | Time is now: 1st August 2010 - 03:51 PM |
Invision Power Board
v2.1.7 © 2010 IPS, Inc.